Having a dog is a childhood rite of passage for most of us. Growing up with that special four legged friend you will always cherish, straight out of a Lassie or Benji movie, is something all kids desire, I think. I, myself, am more of a cat person but did have the benefit of growing up with both cats and dogs. Our pets were named Mozart, Bach, and Beethoven although nobody in the family was into classical music and it was long before that St. Bernard movie came out; go figure. Since we lived on a lot of land of sprawling fields and woods (and before leash laws) they would all roam free. We'd stand on the porch and yell their names out to come to dinner, "Moooozaaarrrttt!!! Baaaaaaach! Beeeeeethoooveeenn!" The neighbors across the way for the longest time thought we were nuts in our daily screaming ritual before they realized they were pets and yet another extension of our bizarre brood.

Well it's been years since I've had a dog and my children haven't had that experience yet of having a dog to grow up with so after three years of begging for a puppy I finally caved in. It took months of combing local shelters to find a small dog; they were all filled with scary big dogs that would eat my children. We finally came upon a rescue puppy, a Pekingese seized from a southern puppy mill. At only four pounds this little guy melted my heart and I went against my "no puppy" rule cringing at the thought of all the "accidents" my floors... and stomach... would have to endure in the process of housebreaking. Ugh. I went out and blew $80 on a patch of fake grass meant to facilitate that process so he could get used to going on grass — everyone on those pet websites swore by it. Most expensive piece of grass I've ever bought. (smirk) Well, the pup is terrified of grass it seems since he apparently has been in a cage and has never been on grass. I'm thinking I should have just gone with the good old newspaper we used on our classical music pets — at least it'd be cheaper. Here I am treating his little tushy to the finest potty patch in all the land and he won't use it! Hmpf...I shoulda' spent the $80 on a new toilet seat for me.

Now I am not the type to be carrying a dog in my purse and dressing it up in little outfits with diamond studded bling, like Reese Witherspoon in "Legally Blonde." Having a dog the size of a squirrel is all new to me since I always had big Golden Retrievers and big Labrador type dogs. I used to cringe at women with Chihuahuas, disgusted at how they babied them with the most craziest of things but, damn, I gotta admit I passed a store with cute little dog sailor suits that made me hesitate for a minute thinking how cute he'd look all dressed up for Halloween in that outfit. I almost had to slap myself to snap out of it.

The name is, of course, a big ta-do when getting a new pet. I was really hoping the kids didn't pick anything stupid like Fluffy which would make me stick a fork in my eye. Instead they opted for Brody after the main character in "Jaws" that's famous for saying, "We're gonna need a bigger boat." I looked at that adorable puppy, all four pounds of him, with a goofy smile and wiggly tail in all his innocent sweetness and laughed at the irony of being named for a shark killer. So it stuck and Brody it was. Turns out Brody has a knack for killing and eating bugs so he may not be a shark killer but he's better than Raid.

I did forget how much "fun" it was to wake up at 5 a.m. to take a dog outside to pee. In Brody's case he just wants to play, play, play ripping the blankets off me and waking me up by licking my face like a steak. You bring him out, he doesn't pee, you bring him back in, just get back into bed and he pees on the carpet. It's amazing how the kids swear they will walk it and feed it and yet, it's always the mother that winds up taking care of the dog.

Well, it's been a full week with the new dog and I had to go to the convenience store for milk and not wanting to leave the pooch in the car to die I carried him in with me. A woman gave me a dirty look and I shockingly found myself saying, "Yeah, that's right, I got a dog that lives in my purse.... So what."